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The Day Before The Big Day

August 6, 2014
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About 5 years ago, I may or may not have joked that I was ready for Jack to start kindergarten. During that new baby survival mode, I thought if I can just get him to kindergarten, then I could sleep forever.

That soon changed and instead of wishing for school to come, I started to dread that far off day.

After much wrestling with the homeschool or public school decision, it became apparent that public school was going to be our choice. There was some guilt about all of it at some point, but that is now gone and I feel confident about our decision.

On that note, I read this yesterday on Pitter Patter Art’s blog and I really appreciate her words.

I remember when a friend of our family asked me a while back if I was going to homeschool. I gave my confident “nope” answer. She then went on to say how amazing and brave and all these other wonderful words someone we knew was because she was homeschooling. My mom was nearby and flashed me the stink eye…like “Watch out lady. I’ll sucker punch you in the back”. She knew my heart was racing because a momma who homeschools is all those things, but mommas who send their kiddos off into the big world…whether public school, private, whatever it is…they are also just as amazing and brave and all those wonderful words too. There shouldn’t be lines drawn in the sand about this. Whether self educating your children or handing over the reigns to professional teachers & trusting, either one is a choice to be respected. I stand tall by those words. Take heart all you mommas, you are doing a dang good job!

I’ve started feeling all the emotions. I’ve been suppressing them a lot and haven’t really fallen apart yet. I did cry a lot today, but stopped myself since I was with Jack and he doesn’t need to see that right now.

For the past five years it’s been me and Jack everyday. And that is changing. It’s a huge change for Jack. And with no other kids at home to take care of after dropping him off, my life is changing in a big way.

Months ago, I cried because I didn’t know what I’d do with my life after Jack went to school, as far as finding a regular job and getting the right hours, etc. Reid always calmed me down because there was no point in getting worked up over something that was months and months away.

Now that it’s here, we both feel good about me staying home and continuing with my shop on Etsy and making it a real business. I’m excited to focus more on it while Jack’s at school and set hours for myself so I’m not working anymore for the day once I pick Jack up from school.

I, also, have a few other things I’d like to do over the next few months that I don’t feel ready to share yet. I’m trying to see this time as an opportunity to do things I’ve wanted to for a while, but knew I couldn’t do while I was with Jack full-time at home.

Back to today. Last night, I told Jack that today would be his last day of Summer and we could do whatever he’d like. He’s such a homebody; he chose to stay home and play games, Legos, color, and watch movies. And all in his elf pajamas.

We did have to leave for Meet the Teacher day at school, though.

Jack immediately was excited about finding blocks like Nana and Papa have at their house.

Jack’s teacher is so sweet and meeting her really helped calm my nerves. Although, I’m not going to lie; I did have a bit of a meltdown after we walked out of the school today. There were too many feelings and I didn’t know what to do with them and I was a mess. I got it together and we hit up Wal-Mart for last minute things, but then, stopped back by the school for something.

We dropped by Jack’s classroom, mainly because I wanted to make sure he knew how to get there by himself, and his teacher was still there and Jack ran up and gave her the biggest hug. It happened so fast, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!

It was really reassuring. Jack says he’s a little nervous, but seems to be just fine. He went to bed with no problems tonight.

My biggest concern right now is that darn three lane carpool in the morning. That and Jack finding a friend.

I’m going to miss him and tomorrow with be hard, but I know it will soon be our normal.

For now, I think I’ll miss our lazy mornings the most. We’ve recently started watching Let’s Make a Deal together and it’s quite amusing with Jack’s reactions.

the end.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Beth Davis permalink
    August 7, 2014 11:01 am

    I’m right there with you! We wrestled a lot about homeschooling, private school and public. Homeschooling just wasn’t happening with the craziness of our house( we learned that through homeschooling Pre-K), and private? Well, even with a scholarship it was too pricy for us! I had a lot of guilt about public, but just gave it to The Lord. He has blessed us so much with a Christian teacher and our next door neighbors little girl who Maddy loves is in her class!! It is an adjustment for everyone, and I know it is so weird to be without our little ” buddies”. Praying for you girl!

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