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Thoughts on a Cloudy Monday Afternoon

April 6, 2009
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* Insomnia, no appetite, constant headaches, and crying. I almost have symptoms of postpartum depression, but I don’t feel depressed. I feel more numb. Just kinda blah. I just think I’m tired. It’s only been a week.

* I really have to force myself to eat, which has never been an issue for me. I thought breastfeeding was supposed to make me hungry?? All I’ve had today is a bowl of Cheerios, a protein shake, decaf coffee, and water.

* I never knew I could laugh so hard at 5 am with my husband over nothing. We were delirious.

* Reid and I have had conversations at 3 and 4 am wondering how anyone has ever done this. How and why do people have more than one child? How did our parents do this? How do people function on a daily basis with no sleep?

* I’m pretty sure in my drugged state at the hospital that I apologized to my Mom for having to go through labor to have me.

* I’ve broken out with red bumps and whelps all over my entire body since I had Jack. I’ve been off pain meds since Friday. Doctors don’t know what to do with me over the phone, so I head back to the doctor yet again tomorrow. I keep telling Jack I’m allergic to him. He knows I’m kidding.

* My blog is turning into a mommy blog. Sigh. I have nothing else to talk about, though, for now. My time is spent trying to figure this whole motherhood thing out and hoping I’m not screwing anything up, which I think will be the rest of my life.

* I need to learn how to work the car seat. I dread taking Jack to the doctor by myself Wednesday. Then, I’m taking him to his baby shower at Reid’s work on Thursday. I hope I can time his feedings and sleep successfully around those events.

* My Mom and sister are coming up for a little bit next week since it’s my sister’s spring break, which means Reid and I are going to see a movie at the dollar theater one night next week. I can’t wait!

* Can you tell I can’t sleep? I should be sleeping instead of blogging b/c you get boring posts like this.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. April 6, 2009 5:39 pm

    Now – let me preface this – I know I am not a parent…yet – but I just wanted to take this opportunity to encourage you!
    You are NOT screwing everything up for little Jack’s life (repeat that to yourself – right now)…you guys are still in the learning stage. I think every new parent has their doubts whether they are doing this or that wrong – but just remember at the end of the day the Lord uses you despite what you think. I am confident that Jack Ryan (and any other children you may have in the future ;)) will grow up and truly appreciate the time and effort you and Reid put into parenthood.
    So…this is just my two cents, I know it’s a little long, but I hope I succeeded in the encouragement department 🙂
    ~k

  2. April 6, 2009 7:27 pm

    I love that it’s become a mommy blog – you’re so honest that it’s like a little insight into what it’s like to become a mom. I’ve already told people about it.

  3. amymezzell permalink
    April 7, 2009 8:21 am

    You should try to find somewhere online to watch yesterday’s Oprah. It was all about moms confessing crazy stuff they’ve done as mothers to their children and how they feel like they’re failures and all that. It was pretty funny and encouraging. Maybe it’s online!

  4. Holly permalink
    April 8, 2009 3:15 pm

    I’m a fan of mommy blogs…it’s what you are going through at the moment, and I think we all want to know how you really are doing. It does get better (sleep will come one day). I miss the days already, though, when Zoe was just an itty bitty. 🙂

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