Today marks Jack’s fourth day of school and I’m still adjusting. I feel this rush to get so many things done while he’s at school, but I have to remember that this is every single day; I have many days to work on things.
Jack started acting sick last Saturday afternoon, but it seemed like more of an allergic reaction than anything else, but he woke up worse on Sunday morning, so I took him to a doc in the box to find he had a sinus infection. Whatever they gave him knocked it right now. He was better by Monday morning and able to go to school.
Jack was sad because he didn’t think he’d be able to go to school. He was, also, sad on Sunday morning because he thought he got to go to school that day!
I really am so proud of how well he’s done at carpool. Considering there were days at preschool that teachers had to literally pull him out of the car with him crying, I know when I see him walking into the building all by himself that he’s come a long way and he must really like school.
We’ve figured out that our sweet spot for carpool in the morning is leaving at exactly 7:05. Every morning, the teachers working the carpool lines laugh at Jack because he takes his sweet time walking down the line to the cross walk. He blames his heavy tote bag, but I know he’s just on Jack time.
The best part of my day is picking Jack up from school and hearing him talk non-stop about his day.
Last Friday night, Jack wanted to sleep in our bed since it was storming, so I laid down with him and we chatted for a long time about school and he noticed Reid’s Harry Potter book. Reid reads the Harry Potter series about every two years. Jack asked me to read it to him, so we started it and only got a couple of pages in. Jack was laughing at a lot of it, but I thought maybe we should save Harry Potter for later down the road.
I picked up Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday and we started reading it last night. Eventually, his homework at school will be us reading together for 20 minutes a night, so I thought this would be a good start.
So, back to getting things done while Jack’s at school. As Jack’s outgrown toys and clothes, we saved everything and moved it to the attic. It was our safety in case we had another little person. I always thought that I’d eventually consign everything when Jack started school in the distant, distant future. That it was my problem for another day. And that day is here.
Reid helped me get everything down last night. We’ve already sold the bigger items, like the swing, jumper, bouncy seat, etc. As I started going through it last night, I realized it’s a lot more intense and overwhelming than I initially thought. It’s a TON of stuff to go through. Like two bins of just teeny tiny 0-6 months pajamas.
My goal is to put all the fall clothing items in a consignment sale next month and organize what needs to be saved for the Spring sale and donate everything else.
I know I’ll feel good when it’s all done, but that may be a month of working through all this mess. Sweet mercy. I’m already having to remind myself to pace myself and that I have plenty of time to work on this.
And there’s a few days worth of blog posts all in one.
I didn’t sleep well last night, anticipating the morning ahead. I was awake by 6 on my own and peeked in on Jack and he was awake, too. I let him get up to watch TV and rest a little before the day really started.
We were so early in getting ready and taking pictures that we just sat in the car for a few minutes before leaving. I’m sure that will NEVER happen again in his schooling career.
For some reason, the school requires all kindergartener to carry a tote bag purchased from the school. It’s the size of a duffle bag. What in the world.
Jack had no anxiety this morning and was ready to get to school. While driving to school, I started crying, so I grabbed some sunglasses and tried my best to hide it.
We were so early that carpool hadn’t started yet, but everyone was lining up, so I grabbed a place as close to the school as I could get and we waited.
Jack gave me a hug and a kiss without any prompting while we were waiting. And, then it happened. At exactly 7:15, they said, “Ok, everyone out!” And all these car doors fly open and kids are jumping out everywhere.
And, then, there’s poor Jack. He had a hard time getting the car door open. Then trying to grab his full-size luggage bag and lunchbox and my yelling, “close the door!”
I watched him walk in as I drove by slowly. And the tears started flowing again.
I met up with Samantha later in the morning for coffee and sharing our first day experiences since Noah started today, too, and may have worn an outfit that coordinated with Jack’s outfit.
I spent most of the day between being teary and being kind of excited about the time to myself. I got a lot of work done and before I knew it, it was time to get Jack.
Carpool was a bit chaotic, but that’s to be expected and should get better. His teacher helped him get in the car and said it was a great day and that he had a lot of fun.
Jack chatted the whole way home and through some round about ways that don’t need to be mentioned, we eventually learned that he did have a great day and can’t wait to go back tomorrow. SUCH great news!
About 5 years ago, I may or may not have joked that I was ready for Jack to start kindergarten. During that new baby survival mode, I thought if I can just get him to kindergarten, then I could sleep forever.
That soon changed and instead of wishing for school to come, I started to dread that far off day.
After much wrestling with the homeschool or public school decision, it became apparent that public school was going to be our choice. There was some guilt about all of it at some point, but that is now gone and I feel confident about our decision.
On that note, I read this yesterday on Pitter Patter Art’s blog and I really appreciate her words.
I remember when a friend of our family asked me a while back if I was going to homeschool. I gave my confident “nope” answer. She then went on to say how amazing and brave and all these other wonderful words someone we knew was because she was homeschooling. My mom was nearby and flashed me the stink eye…like “Watch out lady. I’ll sucker punch you in the back”. She knew my heart was racing because a momma who homeschools is all those things, but mommas who send their kiddos off into the big world…whether public school, private, whatever it is…they are also just as amazing and brave and all those wonderful words too. There shouldn’t be lines drawn in the sand about this. Whether self educating your children or handing over the reigns to professional teachers & trusting, either one is a choice to be respected. I stand tall by those words. Take heart all you mommas, you are doing a dang good job!
I’ve started feeling all the emotions. I’ve been suppressing them a lot and haven’t really fallen apart yet. I did cry a lot today, but stopped myself since I was with Jack and he doesn’t need to see that right now.
For the past five years it’s been me and Jack everyday. And that is changing. It’s a huge change for Jack. And with no other kids at home to take care of after dropping him off, my life is changing in a big way.
Months ago, I cried because I didn’t know what I’d do with my life after Jack went to school, as far as finding a regular job and getting the right hours, etc. Reid always calmed me down because there was no point in getting worked up over something that was months and months away.
Now that it’s here, we both feel good about me staying home and continuing with my shop on Etsy and making it a real business. I’m excited to focus more on it while Jack’s at school and set hours for myself so I’m not working anymore for the day once I pick Jack up from school.
I, also, have a few other things I’d like to do over the next few months that I don’t feel ready to share yet. I’m trying to see this time as an opportunity to do things I’ve wanted to for a while, but knew I couldn’t do while I was with Jack full-time at home.
Back to today. Last night, I told Jack that today would be his last day of Summer and we could do whatever he’d like. He’s such a homebody; he chose to stay home and play games, Legos, color, and watch movies. And all in his elf pajamas.
We did have to leave for Meet the Teacher day at school, though.
Jack immediately was excited about finding blocks like Nana and Papa have at their house.
Jack’s teacher is so sweet and meeting her really helped calm my nerves. Although, I’m not going to lie; I did have a bit of a meltdown after we walked out of the school today. There were too many feelings and I didn’t know what to do with them and I was a mess. I got it together and we hit up Wal-Mart for last minute things, but then, stopped back by the school for something.
We dropped by Jack’s classroom, mainly because I wanted to make sure he knew how to get there by himself, and his teacher was still there and Jack ran up and gave her the biggest hug. It happened so fast, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!
It was really reassuring. Jack says he’s a little nervous, but seems to be just fine. He went to bed with no problems tonight.
My biggest concern right now is that darn three lane carpool in the morning. That and Jack finding a friend.
I’m going to miss him and tomorrow with be hard, but I know it will soon be our normal.
For now, I think I’ll miss our lazy mornings the most. We’ve recently started watching Let’s Make a Deal together and it’s quite amusing with Jack’s reactions.
Mentally, I’ve been making a list of things to do when Jack starts school next week, which includes blogging. I miss it. I kept telling myself I wouldn’t blog again unless I actually wanted to because what’s the point. And really, what’s the point of blogging? Regardless, here I am!
In April, I shared some of my health issues. Since then, I’ve found a specialist who didn’t take four months to get an appointment with and was eager to find the root cause of all my problems. Turns out there are lots of roots.
I’ve since found out that I’m allergic to dairy, chicken, eggs, and a few other small things. I have no B6 in my body, which could be the reason for so much inflammation. I’m deficient in several vitamins linked to brain fog, depression, and exhaustion and showed signs of chronic fatigue syndrome. I tested positive for the MTHFR gene (C677T). Oh, and I have Candida in my gut.
*I feel the need to include that I’ve passed the denial and pity party stage. At this point, I’m so happy to actually know what’s wrong with me! I’ve been very fortunate!
As for my thyroid, I do have Hashimoto’s Disease, but at this time, my thyroid levels are within the normal range, but even if it’s a normal range, it doesn’t mean it’s that it’s my optimal range.
In the meantime, I visited my rheumatologist to figure out what was happening to my swollen toe so we could get that taken care of, too. After x-rays and ultrasounds on my toe, it was clear that psoriasis was causing all the swelling.
The ultrasound technician was basically Javier from Felicity. Interacting with him was the best part of the appointment. Just by looking at the ultrasound, he correctly guessed things about me that made my eyes widen. He asked if I had children, then asked if I had problems with preeclampsia when I was pregnant. Bingo! Just by looking at my TOE!
After we chatted some more, he did an ultrasound on my thyroid and assured me there was nothing to worry about there. I was worried about this in the beginning of my diagnosis of Hashimotos, so this was so great to hear.
This appointment took an emotional turn when discussing treatment options since the medications I need to help my body heal can have an extreme effect if I were to get pregnant, not that we’re trying, but you never know. So, having the conversation about whether or not we’re going to have more children was not what I expected when going in for my toe.
So, what now?
I stopped the thyroid medicine (Levothyroxine/T4) I was prescribed back in April and started on a cycle T3 two times a day. It was tedious at first because I was increasing my dosage every day, along with taking my temperature 3-4 times a day, but I’m finally at a point that I can start the process of coming off of it.
Along with that, I’m taking a plethora of vitamins and supplements to get my levels where they need to be. I’m not taking any medications for my toe yet because the first prescription made me sick to my stomach, so I’m waiting to try something else.
And I’m following a strict diet that’s some sort of Paleo. My doctor told me I needed to follow a Paleo diet at my first appointment and I said no. Even after seeing my lab results, I said no. But, after more reading, especially on Candida, I’ve cut most foods out, even slowly cutting out all fruit.
And, now, I have pictures to prove it’s all working. By June, I had extreme inflammation. My ankles looked like they did when I was pregnant! The two left pictures were in June and the far right is from last week. At that point, it was only a 3 lb difference, so not a weight loss issue, but water! My doctor measured my water and body fat today, telling me the 5 pounds I’ve lost were all water.
I still have A LOT more weight (actual fat, not just water!) to lose, but I’m starting to look and feel like myself again. I’m hoping by my 30th birthday in December that I’ll be in a much healthier place.
Jack’s last day of preschool was Wednesday! We did it! He only went for a semester, and even then, was sick a lot and missed days due to weather, but still, he’s moving on the kindergarten in the Fall!
First day and last day. Not sure if there’s much difference, although his face is starting to thin out. :(
Wednesday was his end of the year party, complete with snow cones, water games, and pizza.
I just realized this picture looks like he wet his pants while eating a snow cone. And I’m still going to post it.
Jack was having a great time.
A great time, until he got hit in the face by accident with a water thing. And it was all downhill from there. He cried off and on about various things. Let’s just say he had a rough time. And he was up at 5:45 that morning singing, so I’m thinking losing that sleep had something to do with it.
Since yesterday was his official first day of Summer vacation, we started a new tradition by going to the movies.
Jack isn’t a huge movie theater person, so we waited until the Lego Movie was at the dollar theater.
And no trip to the dollar theater is complete without a bag full of goodies from The Dollar Tree.
Our total was $7 for the movie, which I gasped because I was expecting to pay $3, but it turns out they have 3D now, so that was really a good price, ha!
We both loved the movie. I may have even liked it more than he did! He wore my hoodie over his head the whole time to cut down the volume. He still hates loud noises.
Last night was Jack’s school program. It was mainly graduation for the kindergarten program, but each class got to sing.
The highlight of the night may have been the playing of Butterfly Kisses during the kindergarten slide show. Oh lawd.
Jack actually sang during his songs!
There was a bit of drama during the last song; Jack fell back and hit his head on a step in the beginning of the song and was crying, so his teacher hugged him and pulled him off-stage until Reid could get to him.
Jack starts school the very beginning of August, so it seems like such a short Summer. I feel like we’re making the best decision by sending him to school in the Fall, but I still get butterflies thinking about what all it means with him starting school full-time, adjusting to a school schedule, school rules, carpool, etc.
But, until then, it’s Summer!
Last weekend we took a short road trip with Casey and Sheena to Casey’s parents’ house in Rogersville to visit with Billy and Rita and buy a motorcycle from them.
Reid has wanted a motorcycle for a while now, but the fever got even more intense after watching the motorcycle documentaries from Ewan McGreggor and Charley Boorman. He’s watched both series twice and read the book recently, so it was inevitable.
We took turns sitting by Jack since he wanted someone to talk and play with in the car.
We met Billy and Rita for lunch at a cute café in their little town. Afterwards, the boys went to try out the motorcycle while the girls stayed behind and shopped at the local boutiques.
Reid had no trouble picking up the bike and taking off.
Reid is very happy about his new bike, but still needs to get his license and a new tag before going on any real rides.
And he already has his next bike picked out for after this one.
Jack loves the Patton’s piano and made us all play so he could dance for us.
He, also, came up with the nickname Captain Underpants for Billy. Jack has said all week in the most serious tone that he wants to go back to Captain Underpants’ house.
Jack’s enjoying the bike, too.
Jack had an art show at school on Monday night. He got a 1st place ribbon for one of his projects!
Today was Muffins with Mom at his school. Jack had already told me in advance that he was going to sing a song and I would eat a muffin. And that’s basically what happened.
Seeing his face light up in excitement to see me when he walked in to sing was so sweet! He really does like me!
The kids sang this awkward version of Jesus Loves Me, but the words were changed to Mommy Loves Me. Let that sink in for a moment. Jack sang a couple of the lines, but he was too busy looking at me and shrugging.
He made some art for me.
Apparently, I’m special because sometimes I let Jack get up before it’s 7am.
Jack didn’t make this, but I love it.
We got to bring home all his crafts. It’s quite a bit and I’m not sure what to do with all of it.
Jack and I went to lunch at Moe’s before we went home for the afternoon.
Reid came home a little early so we could go to the motorcycle shop to look at gear.
In an attempt to get Jack to stop running around the store, I put him in the tires.
And there you have it. A tiny glimpse into some parts of our lives right now.
If you go back through the archives of this blog, you’ll find actual paragraphs and stories from our lives, not just photos of Jack and a small blurb here and there of updates. The truth is, I’m not in a storytelling mood. At least, not here. And I’m not feeling the desire to be vulnerable on the internets.
But, maybe for today, I feel open to giving a personal update.
I’ve been very honest over the past 7ish years about my journey with weight loss and the struggles and triumphs I’ve had along the way. I lost a lot of weight very quickly in 2012 following a low fat/high carb vegan diet for about nine months. It was the strictest and smallest I’d ever been, including high school.
After nine months of eating brown rice, potatoes, veggies and fruit, we went to Disney World and I ate whatever I wanted and then some, I couldn’t go back to eating the vegan way after coming home. My taste buds were not having it after a week of delicious food.
And then, came a terrible cycle and lots of bad habits were formed.
I’ll do paleo. No wait, vegan made me skinny, so let’s do that again. Hey, let’s try carb-cycling. Macro-counting. South Beach. Nope, back to vegan. All in the middle of each 2-3 day attempt was a full on binge fest of unhealthy foods because I failed trying to eat well for 3 or 4 days.
I leveled out to about 140ish pounds for about a year or so. Then, December of last year came and I gained 20 pounds in one month.
Now, I ate like a crazy person that month; I’m fully aware of that and will own it, but 20 pounds in one month seems steep.
Then, the new year came and I got a stress fracture in my foot that is still healing, so no running or cardio. And I have a swollen toe on the other foot due to psoriatic arthritis.
And I’ve gained another 30 pounds since January. Right now, I’m gaining about 2-3 pounds a week, regardless of how I eat.
I’ve prided myself on “at least I’m not as heavy as I was when we got married” for a few years, but that’s no longer the case. I actually weigh more than I did in college and am inching closer and closer to what I weighed right before giving birth to Jack.
A month ago, I made an appointment with a doctor to have my thyroid tested. They called me a week later to tell me there was a problem with my thyroid and they put me on medication.
I didn’t look into it too much at the time because I was so relieved to have an answer, but since then, I’ve called to get my actual numbers so I could research exactly what was going on. I realized the my thyroid numbers showed in the “normal” range, but I had tested positive for thyroid antibodies, which after some digging online, I realized that meant I have Hashimoto’s Disease.
I’d only spoken with the lab about these things, so not much information came from them; today was the first time I’ve spoken with the doctor in person about my results and what they really mean. I knew it meant I had Hashimoto’s Disease, but to hear her audibly confirm it today and go over what it meant felt crushing.
Hashimoto’s Disease is an auto-immune disease that causes the immune system to actually launch an attack on the thyroid, one of the glands in the endocrine system responsible for metabolism. A common result of Hashimoto’s is hypothyroidism, or an under functioning thyroid. This explains symptoms I’ve had since having Jack that were always blamed on being a new mom– always exhausted, losing hair, gaining weight, brain fog, among other things.
Basically, I have two autoimmune diseases already (psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis), so it’s easy for your body to attach another one onto it. Like the other two, I’ll have this the rest of my life and will find ways to control it, not cure it, and the amount of time it will take is unknown and out of my control.
I’m on a very low dosage of synthroid right now and am waiting to see a specialist in August (the earliest I could get in!) in hopes of getting on a different medication that my current doctor will not prescribe for me. I’m also toying with a gluten free diet, especially since this makes 3 autoimmune diseases. I’ve been told that it’s uncertain when I’ll get better and it could be a long time before I lose any weight, not matter what I do or change.
So, this is what’s been going on for me for a few months. Lots of doctor visits and lab work and investigating and trying not to lose my mind over the results and my ever-growing body. It’s been a huge blow mentally, but I’m getting help with that, so I’m hopeful.